When Awareness Returns

Letting go can actually be a beautiful thing Have you ever experienced that in your life?

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Today I felt compelled to meditate 
I hadn’t meditated in the past few days
And I had been troubled with many things
One thing after another kept coming up 
And bombarding my mind

So finally as I was reading Danni Levy’s article
I realized I have to prioritize myself 
I promised her I’d do it
And so I came to meditate 

Did I really meditate 
Or did I fall asleep 
Can’t say for sure
Because I lost myself into it

But then I suddenly came back to awareness 
And awareness is a beautiful thing
Because as I was meditating 
I realized something profound 

Letting go was what I had been struggling with
Letting go of all that was troubling me
But in that deep state of meditating 
I found an answer to all my troubles 

I found that letting go can be a wonderful thing 
I remembered how I had been here before once
A long long time ago albeit
When I had struggled in the same fashion

Meditation does bring out old long term memories dammit 
And in that letting go which I had done before
Voluntarily even when it has been so painful 
I had done it for my own preservation 

And I had been rewarded for doing that 
I had been richly rewarded 
With a fabulous job 
A fat salary
With which I had been able to carry 
My entire family 

The sick grandparents 
And their hospital bills
The siblings’ schooling and college expenses
That my dad had struggled with 

A good something for me
A recognition that was beyond comparison 
For the status that came with it 
And also as someone valuable inside the office

All of it had come to me in return 
For what I had given up gingerly 

And today 
The same consciousness is coming back
Asking me 
To let it all go again 

And I am again in tears 
It’s a good memory 
Letting go is never easy
 
But if life is staring you in the face 
Asking for dropping that thing 
That your heart desires most 
And you know you can’t keep it
Letting go perhaps is the best thing to do

Just trusting in God
That he knows you 
Inside and out
And understands how it hurts 

This is so hard oh God!
How can I let go of this precious possession 
Once more
But it was never meant to be mine was it
I guess not 
No it wasn’t 

Please help me Lord 
I can’t do this alone 
I’ve tried so many times before
And failed again and again 
Miserably fantastically 

So let it be
As you want it to be
I’ll leave this to you
To take me where I need to be going 

I knew this already 
Unless I let go of today
I can’t have a tomorrow

But it was unbearable 
Immeasurable 
The intensity of his feeling 

When the heart is involved 
It’s not easy 
And yet you need to take a stand 
To preserve your sanity
To preserve what is left of you
Letting go is the best thing to do

Fly away little birdie 
Fly away home
Fly away to eternity 
And don’t ever come back again 
Unless you want to stay with me for good
Don’t ever come back again 

Fly away little birdie 
Fly away back to your nest 
From whence you came to me
Fly back home and rest 

I’ll see you at the other side of eternity 
If time permits 
The hurting heart is elastic 
It will repair itself pretty soon
And then take on new adventures 

Let’s do this now 
Let’s break the bonds
And move on in anticipation 
Of what’s ahead of us

Thank you for listening 
Now peace ✌🏽 

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Thank you to Derek Lakin for encouraging me to do this meditation and note down what I learn from it as part of his mindfulness course.

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