This is so relatable and something I often think about as well. I have a very active mind, and if I'm not lost in my world, then I can get lost in trying to understand others' worlds, attempting to comprehend how they might feel or what they are going through. This is both a gift and a curse.
One thing that helps me is to think of my thoughts like visitors. They come and go, and I don't have to entertain all of them. When a thought feels heavy or upsetting, I ask myself, “What are you trying to tell me?” or "What are you trying to protect me from?'
Moving the thought from your head to paper, as you are doing, is a powerful step.
I like to remember that my thoughts aren't the boss of me. I decided which ones I dive into and which ones I let float by.
Letting thoughts float by means that you notice them but don't latch onto them. Compare it to watching clouds in the sky. You notice them but don't try to chase or change them. It's being the 'observer' of your thoughts. Is it worth digging deeper into, or is it not a helpful thought?
Not entertaining a thought means you don’t give it extra energy. For example, if a thought pops up like, “What if I mess this up?”—instead of going deeper into that fear and creating stories around it, you could say, “That’s just a thought,” and then bring your attention back to something steady, like your breath, your surroundings, or a calming word or mantra.
It takes practice. You’re not ignoring the thought. You are simply choosing which ones to feed into and which ones to let move on without feeding them.
As you practice this, you build more space between you and the noise in your mind. You can then focus on the thoughts that move you forward.
What you’ve shared is a very really challenge! To answer your q, I find that mindfulness practices can be very helpful if you find yourself consumed by thoughts. The idea behind is it to create a distinction between yourself and your thoughts. So for ex, just as you aren’t your hand, or you aren’t you your eyes, you aren’t your mind- and by extension your thoughts. This distance can provide some breathing room so that identification with thought can lessen. In practice, what this can look like is merely acknowledging that thoughts are coming up, without over-identifying and giving attention to each one. It’s recognizing that thoughts are fleeting, aren’t always rational, can be informed by many factors outside of your control - therefore most thoughts don’t need true, intentional attention. When thoughts are acknowledged simply as ‘thoughts’, without judgement, over time the energy they carry in your mind decreases as well. The more attention given to them, the more their presence or charge is activated. It can be extremely difficult, of course, especially when a thought feels important, but slowly practicing detachment from the thought itself can be so liberating! A thought is just a thought, it doesn’t have to be more ‘real’, and only becomes more real in the energy you give it. If you’re interested in practical tools, DBT and mindfulness-based therapy techniques really dive into this. I hope this is helpful, and you find some relief in it 😊
Of course! If you’re looking for books that are more therapy based I’d recommend: 1) The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook. It has a section on mindfulness and general emotion-regulation.
For a more solution-focused, practical book 2) The Mindfulness Solution: Everyday Practices for Everyday Problems.
For a more general book on mindfulness in abstract terms that also intersects with spirituality 3) The Power of Now is a good introduction to it. Good luck Shalini :)
I had a master teacher educate me about thoughts. What forms most of them? The mistaken belief that you/me are separated beings with no fundamental connection. Teacher told me to practice "the concept that I create of you can't be real, if I am not who I mistakenly believe that I am".
Oh, who am I, really?
That shuts down the whole mutual judgment dynamic. Teacher then said that if I stopped thinking thoughts about who I wanted to become, or thoughts about regrets about who I thought I once was, the momentum of a lifetime, or , perhaps, many lifetimes, would be stopped in its tracks,
Teacher finally said that most of my thoughts are spawned from the need to control an unsafe world.
Teacher said,
All that you see is yourself.
You are the world you fear, and are unsuccessfully trying to control.
How will you see yourself today?
I had very few distracting thoughts for many years afterwards.
Shalini, thanks for taking the time to read my reply to your compelling post.
I have thought about these issues for most of my adult life. It is a great way to use thoughts, to understand the reason we are so plagued by some of them! Anyway, here is a link if you have further interest in my perspective on our darned thinking!
This is so relatable and something I often think about as well. I have a very active mind, and if I'm not lost in my world, then I can get lost in trying to understand others' worlds, attempting to comprehend how they might feel or what they are going through. This is both a gift and a curse.
One thing that helps me is to think of my thoughts like visitors. They come and go, and I don't have to entertain all of them. When a thought feels heavy or upsetting, I ask myself, “What are you trying to tell me?” or "What are you trying to protect me from?'
Moving the thought from your head to paper, as you are doing, is a powerful step.
I like to remember that my thoughts aren't the boss of me. I decided which ones I dive into and which ones I let float by.
Thank you Sue! I have to learn this surely.
I'll write a post on this so I can go deeper! I am also working on a tool to identify, trace, and challenge thoughts.
I’d definitely appreciate that. Thank you Sue!
How do you let thoughts float by and how can you ‘not entertain’ thoughts?
Letting thoughts float by means that you notice them but don't latch onto them. Compare it to watching clouds in the sky. You notice them but don't try to chase or change them. It's being the 'observer' of your thoughts. Is it worth digging deeper into, or is it not a helpful thought?
Not entertaining a thought means you don’t give it extra energy. For example, if a thought pops up like, “What if I mess this up?”—instead of going deeper into that fear and creating stories around it, you could say, “That’s just a thought,” and then bring your attention back to something steady, like your breath, your surroundings, or a calming word or mantra.
It takes practice. You’re not ignoring the thought. You are simply choosing which ones to feed into and which ones to let move on without feeding them.
As you practice this, you build more space between you and the noise in your mind. You can then focus on the thoughts that move you forward.
❤️
What you’ve shared is a very really challenge! To answer your q, I find that mindfulness practices can be very helpful if you find yourself consumed by thoughts. The idea behind is it to create a distinction between yourself and your thoughts. So for ex, just as you aren’t your hand, or you aren’t you your eyes, you aren’t your mind- and by extension your thoughts. This distance can provide some breathing room so that identification with thought can lessen. In practice, what this can look like is merely acknowledging that thoughts are coming up, without over-identifying and giving attention to each one. It’s recognizing that thoughts are fleeting, aren’t always rational, can be informed by many factors outside of your control - therefore most thoughts don’t need true, intentional attention. When thoughts are acknowledged simply as ‘thoughts’, without judgement, over time the energy they carry in your mind decreases as well. The more attention given to them, the more their presence or charge is activated. It can be extremely difficult, of course, especially when a thought feels important, but slowly practicing detachment from the thought itself can be so liberating! A thought is just a thought, it doesn’t have to be more ‘real’, and only becomes more real in the energy you give it. If you’re interested in practical tools, DBT and mindfulness-based therapy techniques really dive into this. I hope this is helpful, and you find some relief in it 😊
Thank you so much Fatima. I’ll look into those. If you have any links to share, please do. I would like to try those practices.
Of course! If you’re looking for books that are more therapy based I’d recommend: 1) The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook. It has a section on mindfulness and general emotion-regulation.
For a more solution-focused, practical book 2) The Mindfulness Solution: Everyday Practices for Everyday Problems.
For a more general book on mindfulness in abstract terms that also intersects with spirituality 3) The Power of Now is a good introduction to it. Good luck Shalini :)
Thank you Fatima. I will look into those. Everything is pointing me to this book I wonder why!
I had a master teacher educate me about thoughts. What forms most of them? The mistaken belief that you/me are separated beings with no fundamental connection. Teacher told me to practice "the concept that I create of you can't be real, if I am not who I mistakenly believe that I am".
Oh, who am I, really?
That shuts down the whole mutual judgment dynamic. Teacher then said that if I stopped thinking thoughts about who I wanted to become, or thoughts about regrets about who I thought I once was, the momentum of a lifetime, or , perhaps, many lifetimes, would be stopped in its tracks,
Teacher finally said that most of my thoughts are spawned from the need to control an unsafe world.
Teacher said,
All that you see is yourself.
You are the world you fear, and are unsuccessfully trying to control.
How will you see yourself today?
I had very few distracting thoughts for many years afterwards.
And then Trump came on the scene
Trump is my new teacher.
I like the last line very much but didn’t understand much of the first few. Got to read them again. Thanks for sharing
Shalini, thanks for taking the time to read my reply to your compelling post.
I have thought about these issues for most of my adult life. It is a great way to use thoughts, to understand the reason we are so plagued by some of them! Anyway, here is a link if you have further interest in my perspective on our darned thinking!
https://open.substack.com/pub/brucepaullin55/p/breaking-free-from-the-mental-prison?r=366m2d&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Thank you so much for sharing this with me Bruce. This is exactly what I needed. Appreciate your writing and sharing this with me. Thank you so much!
Deep writing. I like.
Thank you J! Appreciate your comment.