Every Man Knows What Commitment Means, So Why Does He Deviate from It
What is the meaning of Commitment, What Does it mean to be Committed, Why Does man not stay committed?
Let’s face it! Every student knows how to behave in school. They know how to be tidy, how to be quiet, how to be a good listener, how to be friendly and helpful, nowadays they are even learning how to be trustworthy and fair among other things.
Every teenager knows how to take care of his academics, how to stay committed to his grades in high school.
Every person who goes to work knows how to stay committed to his workplace, how to blend with his job requirements, how to keep the peace inside the workplace even when things are simmering right beneath.
Every adult knows to obey the rules of the road, societal norms, cultural norms, religious expectations, how to pay taxes, how to be a good citizen and so on.
Every person also knows how to eat healthy, run, do yoga, exercise, and stay committed to fitness if he wants to get anything out of it.
So, why do some people behave carelessly when it comes to marriage?
What is it with living with another person who you supposedly ‘love’ that makes you turn a deaf ear otherwise?
There may be many reasons for this kind of behavior, but the primary reason is perhaps the fact that when the spouse makes the mistake first time, the other spouse doesn’t take it seriously enough to make a fuss out of it. They decide it’s just a harmless infringement, why take away the peace in the home for such a small thing. That’s where they make the first mistake which will come back and haunt them for the rest of their marriage.
This can happen the other way as well. When the spouse makes a small mistake which should not be taken up as a big deal, some spouses make a huge fuss over it. In essence throwing a tantrum over spilled milk. Now this can cause the spouse’s sensitivity to get ruptured and slowly and surely, the other spouse loses him over nothings.
Marriage then, is a delicate balance of what needs to be addressed right away and what needs to be overlooked and forgiven. And this can happen the other way round as well. Expecting the spouse to behave like a parent, taking care of them as if they were an infant that is unable to fend for itself and so on, can make an adult to start behaving like a child also.
When such things happen often and on an almost everyday basis, it can be hard not to look at other people who live cheerfully, easily, joyfully with desire. We cannot always blame a man or a woman for infringements or affairs when the other person in the marriage fails to behave like an adult and be responsible for their behavior and actions.
A commitment is like a tightly held woven rope that is stretched across infinity. Weather, weights and even the tension from both ends on it to test its strength all the time. The tensions, the shocks, the overloaded loads, can cause the rope to start snapping in different places and over time, the rope will get cut off. Especially when there is no love, no longing, no ability to understand and be understood, then the rope is sure to get cut off pretty soon.
And in today’s day and age, it is so easy to find another person to hang out with because the workplace, social media, even places of worship and community building is filled with people who also are going through similar situations and experiences in their lives.
Especially in a workplace, there are no everyday responsibilities that need to be addressed and so, there becomes no reason to keep looking at each other with irritation.
And especially, if there is somebody who admires you for the commitment you show at the workplace, or the charm you exude, then it becomes so easy to start flirting with them telling yourself that it is only harmless, which then slowly escalates into intimacy and can reach gigantic proportions in no time.
And once that happens, it might be game for a short time hence, but then the game does come to an end quickly as well depending on what kind of a spouse you have been dealing with this whole time.
A man or woman who knows how to tend to a child and stay deeply committed to them feeding them, loving them, doing everything they can to bring them up to navigate this world, sometimes falls so short of expectations in his/her marriage.
This needs to be addressed. Or be careful and analyze your boyfriend or girlfriend well in advance because once you say, ‘I do’, you need to stay committed. And if your spouse does not show the level of commitment a marriage requires, then do understand, you cannot steer the boat alone by yourself for very long without harming yourself and your family as well. There will be consequences, and they will affect the children.
So, be prepared and ready to leave the marriage anytime. Because there’s no such thing as a surprise or shock when it comes to a marriage. The pattern keeps giving you a heads-up long before you reach that point where shock results!
And if you are in that boat right now, it’s time to reflect on what needs to be done. Some marriages are not worth salvaging.
Think about this.
Peace ✌